Friday, May 18, 2012

A post about Motherhood!(Belated Mother's Day Post)

This morning I went to get some pictures done of the boys! I have a friend who is incredibly talented and she takes the most lovely pictures. The photo shoot was primarily for Cooper, but I wanted to attempt to get ONE picture of the guys together(see collage below- to understand that I fully recognized we had our work cut out for us-haha). Me and Hudson practiced smiling and "listening" in the morning and I had some pretty sweet bribes lined up, but he had his mind made up and was having none of it when it came down to actually having the pictures taken. He proceeded to act out while my patient friend did the pictures of Cooper, doing things like raiding her pantry, throwing silly puddy down her stairs and being rambunctious. When we were leaving, Hudson "wasn't ready" to leave and I had to carry him out to the car kicking and screaming.

I don't share this story because I am mad and can't believe how my son was acting, but on the contrary, because this little guy who can be such a bull-headed stinker has me completely wrapped around his little finger. He did have to suffer the consequences of not behaving, but what I realized driving home was that I would take all of the moments like this morning any day over not experiencing Motherhood. (I guess this is my Mother's Day post-heehee)
Hudson is becoming such an individual with opinions and thoughts and feelings of his own, and like any other stage of child rearing with a first born this stage is new to me. In some ways I feel for him because parenting really is all trial and error.

For example (NO JUDGING PLEASE) the other day Cooper was crying all day(and I really mean hours on end-due to teething). Hudson was being such a champ dealing with his incessant cries, which made me so proud, cause let's be honest, even being an adult with a little bit of self control I was finding it hard to listen to. Hudson requested some Kraft Dinner for lunch, so I made it for him and as a reward for good behavior I told him that he could eat it in his playroom. I had a towel on his lap in case any spilled and warned him not to make a mess, then went to Cooper's room and rocked the poor baby to sleep.  A minute later Hudson came into the nursery and informed me with a giant smile that he made a big mess. Already frustrated, I went to go assess the scene and let me tell you, there was a huge mess.  Hudson being in his underwear only made it opportunistic for me to wail him on the butt, and wail I did. I spanked him hard 3 times, and yelled at him to clean up the mess.(*here is the no judging part-We are not the spanking type- but I say parent as you wish! Some kids respond to a little spank, Hudson really doesn't so we usually try other methods) He was obviously upset and sobbed as he picked up the macaroni. He was having a hard time as the macaroni kept sticking to his little fingers. When I finally gave him the chance to he informed me that he was just trying to move and the towel I placed on his lap got stuck and the macaroni went flying. He tried to clean it up but realized he needed help, so he came to get me. I just assumed he was being rude and threw his macaroni all over the room and he came to get me to gloat( this has happened in the past-oi).
I totally wrongfully judged my son, who just came to me for some help. I immediately started crying, and apologized. He forgave me so quickly and was just super concerned that I was crying. He hugged me and even told me to take a deep breath, when I was still crying he asked me if I need a little drink of water. I was so overwhelmed with his love and forgiveness and the biblical prompts to become like a child. I thought about me, today, if I had gone to say my own Mother, or Shane or a close friend, and needed help, and they treated me as bad as I treated Hudson, I would be furious and I mean MAD. I can tell you too, that I would not be forgiving them that next moment, and completely forget about my hurt feelings and be so concerned for theirs!!! Kids truly are amazing. They have such resilient spirits, and they have so much to teach us about being good human beings!

When I was 19 I went away for Mother's Day and did not call my Mom from where I was at. I figured I'd call her when I got home. She was livid! I didn't think it was a big deal. I am learning why it was such a big deal everyday. Motherhood deserves to be celebrated! It really is amazing and divine. We do need to teach our children to respect it, and now I think-what an idiot I was for not calling my Mom.(A few years later while traveling in Crete I made a concerted effort to call my Mom on Mother's Day! Seriously there were sketchy Grecians on mopeds creeping me out as I called-hopefully that made up a bit for that missed call:)

One teeny silver lining to the black clouds of last years forest fire, was having my Mom live down the street from me for 6 whole months. I loved having her so close and getting to see her everyday. I loved having her come to church each week with our family and her getting to know my ward family. I loved having someone to run errand and make memories with all of the time. It was fantastic and I was so sad to see her leave.  I am so thankful for that special time as I have lived far from my Mom for many years, and I will likely never live in close proximity to her again in my life. I have a wonderful Mother and I am so thankful for her ENDLESS and INFINITE sacrifices on my behalf!

      Happy Mother's Day to all, and Thank God for Mothers!!!!!

                        a few shots of failed attempts of brother pictures:)-notice who makes it difficult   
                                                                       EVERY TIME?

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